We as humans always need a reason to do something, this is called the “why” factor. If you listen carefully to children more than adults, when you ask or tell a child to do something don’t they always say why. “why” do I have to clean up my room, “why” do I need to brush my teeth. Children yet can’t see the big picture of things in life and need to be aware of the reason “why”. Adults can be the same way some times can’t they, but were less likely to process the “why” consciously unless its new material that we need to process consciously. For example

Husband: Why do I need to take your rubbish it’s not full
Wife: it’s beginning to smell honey
Husband: I can’t smell it.
Wife: well I can Sweetie
Husband: then why don’t you take it out.
Wife: I’ll give you sex.
Husband: thinking sex or computer game.

This is a classic example from my life, The “why” was not big enough for me to change my mind about taking out the rubbish. There was no guarantee of results for that “why” even existed.

People may have a “why” but they cannot see the results, or even imagine the results coming to pass, they my devaluing the “why”. If a child cannot see the value in a parent asking to clean the room why would you want to spend his time doing it. If the parents said “you clean your room and you’ll get a reward” has the why value gone up. The child now conceding that the results of the why will lead to something they want .

We have to see the value in the results even though we cannot see the result straight away. Why give up smoking we are going to die anyway, I could get hit by a truck tomorrow. Why give up something that can kill me when brings me so much pleasure, well that’s their belief or model of the world. And I believe that someone’s belief is a combination of the scripts we have taken on board and the values. Scripts being the things we have been taught, the things we have heard and the things that influence us.

When the “why” is big enough it will shift our beliefs, it will make us want to change our beliefs. If we believe our health is important, and through been healthier we can experience pleasures smoking could not provide, if this was the WHY to give up smoking would they do it. I have heard people offered large sums of money to quit, but they didn’t because the WHY was not big enough in their reality.

Through the training and education I did to become a life coach this is something that is always stressed ” what is their why”.

So I ask you now what is your why to create change in your life.

Why do you want better health, why do you want great relationships with partners, family, clients and yourself. Why do you want more money in your life, what would this change for you, what can you do with it and how can you use it to change and influence other people’s lives.

The first change I made in my life was health. what will yours be.